5 Steps to Prepare for Effective Divorce Financial Negotiations

By Karen Sparks | Aug 27th, 2018

If you are currently involved in a divorce proceeding, or if you are contemplating obtaining a divorce, you may often feel as if you can’t breathe because of the press of responding to the divorce storm, or thinking about what the impact might be on your life. At the same time, just as you are trying to manage your day-to-day existence, your divorce professionals and/or the court may request that you begin to make life-altering decisions. This can be very overwhelming and confusing for you.

However, there is a way to conquer this situation and to not only have a seat at the table but to claim and own that seat and, in the process, successfully build the right financial future for YOU.

READ ALSO: How The New Tax Law Will Affect Your Divorce Settlement

The entire financial path of divorce is similar to creating objects with LEGO® because there are so many different ways that you can link the pieces together to create the design that you want.
It is vital that you do not approach your divorce finance discussions as an out-of-body experience where you essentially place yourself on automatic-pilot and become consumed with just getting through the next meeting, the next court appearance, the next, next, next…

Instead, let us here discuss the five tangible approaches (P.E.A.C.E) that can help you organize your thought processes and focus on the strategies you must adopt to arrive at a successful conclusion to your divorce process:

1. Ponder, Prioritize, Plan

Before you can consider making any decisions about your divorce settlement you need to follow these three rules:

Ponder: Stop, Be Still and Think. If you have not given adequate consideration to what is really important to you, then you have not established the focus needed to lobby for what you eventually want to achieve as a tangible result.
Prioritize: You cannot have your cake and eat it too. Zero in on the top three or five major points that you would like to see addressed in your favor in the divorce financial discussions. When you compile a powerful but succinct list the odds are increased for a more favorable result because the conversation is focused on defined issues.
Plan: As the saying goes, if you fail to plan you plan to fail. Set yourself up for success. Schedule meetings with your divorce professionals on days and times when you are the most focused and ready to receive and analyze large amounts of information. If you are not resolved to make a decision on a certain point for whatever reason, then just don’t. The world will not come to an end. Simply indicate that you need more time and then stick to your guns on taking that time and don’t give in to pressure tactics.

2. Educate Yourself

Education is key. Just simply taking a position and making a demand is of no value unless you have reviewed and understood the data that backs up your position. As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, one of the key strategies that I go through with my clients is helping them to understand the various data points connected with their marital financial portfolio and what those points look like in various projections over different periods of time.

3. Ask Questions

You have right to know what you don’t know. If you feel like there is something not quite right about the answer you get, seek other professional input to give you the assurance that you need. Remember when someone tells you that “it’s no big deal” or “don’t worry about it”, that is usually when your concern should be activated.