We wanted to open this episode of the podcast with this quote because it really emphasizes the fact that no matter how much you’re hurting right now, things are going to get better, and not only that – they’re going to get better because of how strong you are. And in our celebration of that, we have partnered with Jennifer Giamo to bring your Fresh Start Fitness. A free 5-stage program designed to help you heal and thrive after divorce!
Jennifer Giamo is an amazing woman with a story you just might be familiar with. Her high profile husband ended up with a well-known TV Chef – and before she knew it her divorce journey was unfolding…in the tabloids.
In this episode she talks about what it was like going through that painful experience in such a public forum, and how she was able to rebuild her life to be better than ever. You’re going to hear all about Fresh Start Fitness, which is available now! You can find it at Worthy.com’s Podcast, and on our social channels and blog. Stay tuned at the end of this episode for a preview on the meditation stage…and then go sign up! It’s free!
On this week’s episode:
- Humiliation and shame of divorce
- Divorce in the public eye
- What to do when your divorce is in the tabloids, E! News, and Page 6
- Coping with private matters in the public eye
- Health and fitness and divorce
- Self-care and divorce
- How self-care changes before and after a divorce
- Fresh Start Fitness – wellness program for women going through or healing from a divorce
- Heal and thrive after divorce
- Meditation, yoga, strength training, clean eating
- Recovering from painful experiences
- Embracing a fresh start
Audrey: 00:00 Welcome to Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle, a branded podcast from Worthy. I’m Audrey, and I’m your host. It may be stormy now, but it never rains forever. We wanted to open this episode of the podcast with this quote, because it really emphasizes the fact that no matter how much you’re hurting right now, things are going to get better. And not only that, they’re going to get better because of how strong you are. In our celebration of that, we partnered with Jennifer Giamo to bring you Fresh Start Fitness, a free five-stage program designed to help you heal and thrive after divorce.
Audrey: 00:40 Jennifer Giamo is an amazing woman with a story you might just be familiar with. Her high profile has been ended up with a well-known TV chef. And before she knew it, her divorce journey was unfolding in the tabloids. In this episode she talks about what it was like going through that painful experience in such a public forum and how she was able to rebuild her life to be better than ever. You’re going to hear all about Fresh Start Fitness, which is available now. You can find it at Worthy.com/Podcast and on our social channels and blog. Stay tuned at the end of this episode for a preview of the meditation stage. And then go sign up. It’s free.
Audrey: 01:23 Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle is a weekly podcast. So make sure you subscribe to keep up with new episodes we’re curating to help empower and uplift you as you embrace your fresh start. This podcast is for you, so reach out to us at Podcast@Worthy.com to let us know what you think and what you want to hear. You can also get more at Worthy.com/Podcast. We’re going to take a quick break and then we’ll be right back with Jen. When you sell a piece of jewelry, you can’t control how much it’s worth, but you can make sure that you’re selling smart with a team of experts and advocates behind you at Worthy.
Audrey: 01:59 Your engagement ring can be a financial asset that allows you to embrace a new and fulfilling life after divorce. Let us help you get the best deal possible for the jewelry you’ve outgrown. Go to Worthy.com/Podcast to learn more. This is a big day at Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle, because we are joined by Jennifer Giamo, and Jen is an NSCA certified personal trainer. She has a master’s degree in nutrition education. She is the founder of Trainer’s in Transit LLC. You might have seen her on TV. She’s been on Rachel Ray and Live with Kelly and Ryan. She is all over the internet.
Audrey: 02:44 And we are so excited that we get to be one of the places where you can read what she has to say about her divorce and about moving on after divorce. And we have a really exciting new project that we’re launching with her. So much excitement about this episode. And I couldn’t be happier to welcome Jen to the podcast. Welcome.
Jennifer Giamo: 03:08 Hi. Thank you so much. I’m so happy to be here.
Audrey: 03:11 Well, we really are just so thrilled. And I’m so excited to share your story with our audience, because I think you are really such an inspirational person. And you’re so generous with your story, and you’ve really found the way to turn your experience into a launchpad for your fresh start and now to help other people embrace their fresh start. We’re very, very excited.
Jennifer Giamo: 03:38 Well, thank you. Thanks so much.
Audrey: 03:39 So why don’t we start, maybe you can give a little bit of background about yourself and kind of introduce yourself to our listeners who might not be familiar with you.
Jennifer Giamo: 03:48 Sure. Yeah. You did a good job of introducing me and giving all my credentials. But just a little bit personally about me. I live in New York City. As you said, my company’s Trainer’s in Transit. And basically our services are, we go out to our clients. So that’s why we’re in transit. So we go to their homes, to their gyms, to their apartments. Wherever they are we kind of meet them there, and we either do workouts with them. We do nutrition counseling. We do some small group classes, things like that. And I’ve been doing this for probably 20 years. I hate to say that. But, yeah, about 20 years. Yeah.
Audrey: 04:25 Wow. Well, there’s no shame in being 20 years of an expert. So we are gonna be talking a lot about wellness, fitness, and nutrition. But we’re also gonna be talking about life after divorce. And we’re gonna start by talking a little bit about your divorce. So one of the things that we hear a lot from our audience is how humiliation and shame and the stigma of divorce are some of the hardest parts of getting through that trauma. It’s something that you’ve written about, and I’m hoping you can tell us a little bit about that and about your experience.
Jennifer Giamo: 05:05 Sure. Yeah. Definitely there’s a stigma associated with divorce. Especially for me coming from a family that no one is really divorced. Most of my friends are not divorced. So it was embarrassing having to explain what happened and why it happened when I didn’t even really know myself what was going on. So that was really tough. And then the other part of mine, personally, was that it was somewhat public, and I know you’re gonna kind of get to that later. But there was a little bit of tabloid publicity associated with it, so that was beyond mortifying. I mean, it’s hard enough to go through something like this and then to have it out there. It’s just, it’s horrible.
Audrey: 05:48 I can’t imagine.
Jennifer Giamo: 05:48 So, yeah. Definitely experienced that humiliation and shame piece.
Audrey: 05:53 Right. I mean, you have been on TV talking about fitness and wellness. But having your name be part of tabloid stories or part of media, I mean, that had to be a major adjustment. And especially with something that is so sensitive and private. I mean, what was that like? Did you ever expect your name to be out there like that?
Jennifer Giamo: 06:20 No. No, of course not. It was tough. I mean, it was really difficult in the beginning, especially having my own business, people are googling you all the time.
Audrey: 06:30 Right.
Jennifer Giamo: 06:30 So if someone googles my name and these other things come up, I actually ended up changing the name of my company because of that.
Audrey: 06:37 Wow.
Jennifer Giamo: 06:38 So, yeah. It was frustrating. It was just something that was you never expect. And it’s bizarre. You don’t really know how to handle it. And not a lot of other people that have that experience. So you can’t really get advice from people. So the one positive was that he was sort of exposed for the real reason that he had left. So whether or not people believe what they read or whatever the case is. I mean, tabloids aren’t exactly known for their truthfulness.
Audrey: 07:06 Right.
Jennifer Giamo: 07:06 But at the same time the story was kind of out there, so at least I was able to have some sort of jumping off point to say, “Oh, yeah. So this is really what happened, and here we are.”
Audrey: 07:17 Yeah. I imagine it’s interesting for our listeners who are thinking about their own experiences and what it’s like to have to explain things to people. And people want to know the story. And in your case they story, as you said, you can’t believe everything that you read, but the story is out there and it’s stuff that people know without even talking to you. I mean, I can’t even imagine what that was like.
Jennifer Giamo: 07:42 Yeah.
Audrey: 07:42 You’ve said that you’ve found out some of it by reading as well.
Jennifer Giamo: 07:47 I did. I actually found out on E! News one day. It came scrolling across the screen on E! News. So, yeah. I was shocked to say the least. Finding out that information is already difficult enough. But then to have it in your face like that is just crazy. It really is kind of crazy. It’s a little bit of a surreal experience.
Audrey: 08:08 So you’ve talked about kind of how you dealt with all of this. And obviously there’s so much pain there in any circumstance, but this was so public and so shocking. And the way that you found out about pieces of it. I’m sure it really … And you’ve talked about it. It sent you into a place that you never would have expected. And you’re somebody who’s totally on top of your fitness and keeping yourself healthy. So I want you to tell us a little bit about, you found out that your marriage was over, and you’ve said that it really came out of nowhere for you. I mean, what happened next?
Jennifer Giamo: 08:45 Yeah. I mean, I was blindsided, like you said, and it was devastating. I mean, you want to know about the actual moment that I found out how I felt? That was just a physically sick sort of confused … It’s very difficult to explain. I mean, especially when it comes out of nowhere. I mean, there are marriages that have their issues and have problems and they sort of culminate in divorce or separation or therapy, whatever it may be. But this was, I mean, he told me that he was leaving the same day that he left. So there was no preparation. I remember begging him to just stay one more night. Just help me figure out and process what was happening. How do I tell my parents? We were actually supposed to visit my parents that very weekend.
Audrey: 09:34 Wow.
Jennifer Giamo: 09:35 And I had to deal with, “Well, what do I tell them now?” And then sat with this information for a month before I actually told them.
Audrey: 09:42 Oh, wow.
Jennifer Giamo: 09:43 So it was tough. When someone gives you that information, says they’re not happy or whatever it is, you would think that they would have the decency to explain it a little bit more or work on it. But obviously in his mind, he had made this decision long before he dropped the bomb on me.
Audrey: 10:01 Right. I mean, it’s interesting you are talking about the very moment that it happened. So in your case, it was like there was no build up, and it takes a while to process stuff. And we’ll get to some of the stuff that you’ve written about this. But I’m thinking about the way that I’ve read and heard you talk about what it was like grieving the end of your marriage. And that experience is actually pretty separate from that moment of that initial shock and that initial moment of, “You’re sleeping here tonight, you’re not sleeping here tonight,” and that shift.
Jennifer Giamo: 10:35 Right.
Audrey: 10:35 I’m gonna read a little bit of an article that you wrote for us called Staying Healthy Through Divorce. And I think this is already moving in a little bit to that second stage of beginning to process it and a step away from that initial shock. So you wrote, “The emotional trauma of a divorce can often lead to mental and physical repercussions. The stress we feel can manifest in body aches, nausea, or heart palpitations. We aren’t thinking clearly, and therefore tend to make poor decisions regarding our health. For some, food is a way to comfort and calm their emotions while others are too upset to eat.
Audrey: 11:11 Many times in dealing with difficult emotions we develop destructive habits. We drink too much, sleep too much, or not enough. We remove ourselves from social situations and become isolated. Previously healthy practices such as exercise are nonexistent, because we are too exhausted to leave the house. These inclinations can lead to depression and have negative impacts on our health and well-being.” So tell us a little bit about where this idea comes from and what this was like for you.
Jennifer Giamo: 11:42 Yeah. Well, for me fitness and health and wellness are something that were always an important part of my life. I mean, while I was married I was running marathons, and I was working out in some form at least six days a week. And it was just part of my routine and my schedule, and that’s what I did. And I like to eat healthy. I mean, I didn’t like to cook, but I like to eat healthy. But so that was what I was used to doing. And then immediately after I sort of lost all of my fitness and all of my motivation, I should say, really to go out and do anything to workout, to any type of self-care. I mean, I was lucky if I brushed my teeth.
Audrey: 12:20 Wow.
Jennifer Giamo: 12:22 But I started to realize after a while I was like, “This can’t continue.” And I was on that side of the spectrum where I wasn’t eating for a long time, and that was terrible. I mean, that just makes you exhausted. It makes you not able to function cognitively. I mean, I didn’t work for a while. So, yeah. So I kind of decided, “Well, this isn’t how I’m used to living, and this isn’t how I want to continue to live.”
Audrey: 12:50 I think so many of our listeners can relate to that feeling of not feeling like you can even take care of yourself. And you said, “I was lucky if I even brushed my teeth.” It’s like there are these dark moments and these painful parts of grieving. And I know you’ve written somewhere about how divorce is in some ways it’s worse than a death, because it was a choice.
Jennifer Giamo: 13:14 Right.
Audrey: 13:15 And by sharing these pieces of your story I think that you give a lot of other women the opportunity to feel okay about these low moments for themselves. And the way that we react to this really difficult pain, it’s so hard to share with other people. And I know by hearing your story, and I’m sure that everybody’s gonna see what you look like after this, because they’re gonna go to Fresh Start Fitness that we’re talking about a little bit later, they’re gonna be able to see like these really, really difficult moments are not your entire life after a divorce. And feeling that really difficult and heavy pain, it’s not forever. But it is a moment. So when was the moment that you kind of identified that you just couldn’t go on like this? And how did you pull yourself out of that?
Jennifer Giamo: 14:11 The actual moment was kind of when I found myself lying on the bathroom floor just in hysterics. And I don’t exactly remember what had transpired at that moment, but something that I’m sure I found out through some tabloid or some friend or some text or somebody. You know, people love to, when they see things on TV, tell you right away, “Oh my god, did you know blah blah blah?” “No, actually I didn’t, but thanks.”
Audrey: 14:35 Was that a part of it, any time that one of these stories broke were you getting a million texts and-
Jennifer Giamo: 14:41 Sometimes. I mean, my really good close friends knew that I didn’t want to know or hear anything. I mean, to be honest with you I’ve never googled it. I’ve never read any of these stories firsthand. I don’t look for any of that stuff. I just can’t. It’s very disturbing to me, and I just don’t want to see it. So I really don’t know the details of things. But, yeah, some people thought that it would be helpful to share some of that. So anyway, back to your question. You know, I felt like I hit rock bottom.
Audrey: 15:09 Right.
Jennifer Giamo: 15:09 And I wasn’t feeling good. I was physically feeling terrible. And I was looking terrible. You know, when you’re not eating you have no nutrition, and your face gets pail and you just, you don’t look well. So I decided I wanted to just start slow and start something that I can ease myself into. So I got back into yoga again, which I had done previously but never that seriously. I was more of a runner, more of a, I don’t want to say hardcore exercise person. But I was used to doing things that were not as slow as yoga.
Audrey: 15:44 Right.
Jennifer Giamo: 15:44 I thought that that was probably a good place for me to start. So that’s what I did.
Audrey: 15:49 So you talked about how during your marriage you were running marathons and you had a very active lifestyle, and you were eating very healthy. But I want to know that being fit and self-care, aren’t necessarily the same thing all the time. So was doing yoga different for you? Did that feel like you were connecting with yourself in a different way? What was that like?
Jennifer Giamo: 16:13 Absolutely. Absolutely. It was so amazing. I mean, I got hooked pretty quickly. Just that feeling of this mind-body connection and realizing that you can go through these challenging poses, a metaphor for your challenges in your life.
Audrey: 16:32 Right.
Jennifer Giamo: 16:32 And at the end you get through it, and you get to relax and have peace, your mind and your chapasana. So, I don’t know, I just felt like it was something that helped me get through it. And not to mention the community of people that do yoga are also really cool. I mean, I went on yoga retreats and met some really amazing people. So that was nice, too. You feel supported in a different way.
Audrey: 16:57 Right. Like that community aspect.
Jennifer Giamo: 16:59 Mm- hmm (affirmative).
Audrey: 17:00 I also find that by the end of an hour-long yoga …
Audrey: 17:00 I also find that by the end of an hour long yoga class, you have kind of slowly forced your body to let go and to relax.
Jennifer Giamo: 17:13 That’s right.
Audrey: 17:14 And I think it also feels good, now you’re a warrior, now you’re this kind of warrior and you feel strong.
Jennifer Giamo: 17:21 Exactly.
Audrey: 17:21 And you’re breathing and we all have so much going on in our highest points of our lives and our low points of our lives and being able to just kind of take that moment to reconnect like you were saying, I think it really can provide a lot of relief. So I want to talk a little bit about what is on the horizon right around the corner really for you and Worthy. So you have the perfect story to be the person to create this really exciting new program and we’ve used this terminology of when you’re, you’re lying on the floor and you feel like you can’t get up. That’s something we’ve said a lot on the podcast and-
Jennifer Giamo: 18:07 Oh really?
Audrey: 18:08 Yeah. And you just talked about that. And then how yoga was your first step to not just getting back to yourself but to build a bright future for yourself and to build the life that you really deserve. So I want you to do a little bit of an introduction to what we’ve done together and what people can expect.
Jennifer Giamo: 18:31 Yeah. So Fresh Start Fitness was a program that we created together. Judy had come to me after we’d met when I was doing another podcast and asked me if I wanted to create something with Worthy and I just thought that this made so much sense. We’ve broken it down into stages. So kind of what I found helpful when I was going through this process were these five steps, so it was meditation, yoga, nutrition. We do a cardio and strength component and then just the final step is to tie that all together or even just choose parts of the program that you like best. And to repeat those over and over again. And just to help empower women to feel strong and feel like they can get through this and they can let go.
Audrey: 19:15 It’s such an exciting project. And all of the pieces of it are ready to launch this week and this episode is going to come out right in time, so everything is so cute and so beautiful and I am so excited for our audience to be able to participate in this. It’s going to be great. So we’re going to take a quick break and then we’re going to come back and we’re going to talk about the different stages and a little bit more about what people can expect from the program.
Audrey: 19:47 Moving past, divorce is hard enough without your old engagement ring staring you in the eye every time you open your jewelry box. Worthy provides the smart solution for women looking to safely elevate their rings from dusty relics of hard times to financial assets to help you embrace your fresh start. Worthy covers the cost of insurance, shipping, grading, and more. So if you’re going to sell, sell smart with Worthy, go to worthy.com/podcast to get started, we’re ready when you are.
Audrey: 20:21 We are back with Jennifer Giamo. Ready to tell you guys a little bit more about Fresh Start Fitness. So Jen, why don’t you tell us a little bit about kind of how we planned these five different stages and what it was like putting the program together?
Jennifer Giamo: 20:39 So, like I mentioned before, I sort of was thinking in terms of my own journey through getting to the other side of this and the things that I felt were most helpful to me and going through it that I wanted to share with other women. Something that I sort of wished that I had when I was going through this. I’ve realized how much support we need and I want women to know that this isn’t the end of their lives, it sounds hokey, but it’s a new chapter, you can rewrite your story now. And just to remember that you won’t feel this way forever and these are some of the things that’ll get you to that next stage, meditation was a big one for me. I still do my meditations every night, talked about yoga and then the nutrition piece, we give everyone some tips to healthy eating and how to eat when you’re really not feeling like you want to eat or how to stop eating when you’re sitting with your pint of Ben and Jerry’s or whatever.
Audrey: 21:37 That’s me.
Jennifer Giamo: 21:39 Yeah. I mean a lot of people are that way too, so that’s another part of it. We talk about clean eating and what that means and then the cardio and strength, I felt like that was sort of putting it all together, doing that cardiovascular exercise to boost your endorphins and to get those feel good hormones going making you feel good and then the strength to actually make you feel confident and strong and more stable. So that’s sort of how those different stages came about.
Audrey: 22:05 So when we put all of this together, we had this really fun day where we recorded all these videos that people are going to have access to. And so tell us a little bit about who was in these videos with you. I know that we had somebody else doing yoga. Right?
Jennifer Giamo: 22:21 Yeah. Was great. We had one of my other yoga instructors, Nicole, she loved the yoga class. I led the cardio and strength. These are all really short videos. They’re about 20 minute videos each and like you said, everyone can access them at no charge and then we had two women who were also recently divorced who are selling their rings back with Worthy. In fact, Monica, one of the women, were having a party for her to our night to sort of kick this off and sell it-
Audrey: 22:48 It’s so exciting.
Jennifer Giamo: 22:50 Yeah. So it’s really cool. She sold her ring back. So we’re doing a party to celebrate that. And-
Audrey: 22:54 So it’s like a fresh party and it’s for Fresh Start Fitness.
Jennifer Giamo: 22:59 Yap.
Audrey: 23:00 So we’re going to have links at worthy.com/podcast that’ll take you straight to Fresh Start Fitness. And as Jen said, this is a totally free program, which is exciting because, as Jen said, she’s a trainer in New York City and she’s on TV and you get to work out with her for free. So basically what happens is you just sign in with your email and you get the different stages and there’s really something for everybody here, from your eating to kind of high intensity workouts to meditation. There’s really something for whatever you’re feeling, it’s just like these baby steps back in to becoming your best self. And it’s a really great program. So you can find the link there and I’m sure it’s going to be all over our social stuff.
Jennifer Giamo: 23:52 Cool.
Audrey: 23:52 We’re really, really excited about this. So you are going to be celebrating with Monica tomorrow, which is really exciting.
Jennifer Giamo: 23:59 Yeah. I’m so excited, it’s going to be really fun.
Audrey: 24:02 Yeah, it’s going to be cute. It’s going to be at the Worthy offices and so much of what we do by giving women the opportunity to sell their ring in safe and transparent ways. We really do want to help them embrace their fresh start in every way possible. So we know that the money that you get from selling your ring can help you start a business or pay for your kids’ tuition or your legal bills or help get you out of debt and that’s an important piece of your fresh start. But there’s so much more that we want to be able to provide for our listeners and to help really get them back to their best selves and position them to create the best life possible for themselves. And Fresh Start Fitness is a really important piece of that.
Jennifer Giamo: 24:49 Yeah, and I just have to say Audrey that, you guys do such an amazing job at that. I mean, you’re more than just an auction house for people to sell their jewelry. The moment that I walked in their hearing people on the phone and talking with potential customers, it wasn’t like a transactional thing. It was very compassionate and you understand what people go through. It’s a hard thing to sell back your jewelry, it’s very difficult.
Audrey: 25:14 It’s hard emotionally, but it’s also … You can find these videos online of women going to the diamond district in New York with a diamond and getting an offer and then a man goes back to the same place with the same diamond the next day and he gets offered twice as much and that’s not fair. So it’s not like a fair marketplace at all. And we really designed Worthy to give women every advantage that they could need to get them the deal that they deserve.
Jennifer Giamo: 25:43 Which is so great. It’s probably the fairest thing that happens for women in the divorce process.
Audrey: 25:49 I want us to always be as fair as possible, but I hope that we’re not the only fair part in that. So that’s why there’s Fresh Start Fitness now, right?
Jennifer Giamo: 25:59 Different for everyone. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Audrey: 26:03 But that’s really sweet of you to say and it’s also, it’s an honor to be able to help people who are going through something and to be there in that moment with them and we take it really seriously. So we appreciate that.
Jennifer Giamo: 26:14 Yeah, you can tell.
Audrey: 26:15 So actually this is the perfect lead into my next question. I want to know what it’s like for you kind of on the other side of this journey. Now we’re releasing Fresh Start Fitness. I know that you’ve done like break up boot camps and stuff in the past, but what does it mean to you to have created something that’s going to empower women who have gone through something that you’ve been through and you know how difficult it is and you’re giving them this? What is that like?
Jennifer Giamo: 26:44 Yeah. I think that I am much more confident now and being on the other side of this, it definitely becomes stronger. I think, I feel like I have, people tell me I have. So I think being able to share that with women, it’s been amazing because even though I had a lot of good friends and family that were super supportive of me, no one that I spoke to had gone through this. So I just felt like as somebody who, I have something to offer in terms of health and fitness and to tie that into divorce and women who are suffering and struggling with emotional stress and physical stress and all these other things. That’s been really cool for me. So I hope people can embrace it and get something out of it.
Audrey: 27:36 Well, I know people are going to be really excited about this and like Khloe Kardashian had her show Revenge Body, it’s not like we’re not really inventing the wheel here with the idea that following a breakup, it’s a great time to look amazing. And when you look amazing, you feel amazing. And this is definitely something that can help people get there. But that’s a fun byproduct. But it’s not the point of this.
Jennifer Giamo: 28:03 Sure.
Audrey: 28:04 But it’s true. And like we were saying before, we provide the solution for your ring, but we know that there’s so much more that you’re feeling and worried about. And this is something that, a byproduct is that you are gonna get as fit as Jen, but you’re also going to have that opportunity to read and take a minute and you’re narrating all the different stages and you talk about divorce in the different stages and that’s something different than other workout programs that people can be doing and I think it’s just going to feel so specific to people’s current situation and I’m just so excited we get to bring this to people.
Jennifer Giamo: 28:47 Yeah, that’s awesome. I mean that was definitely the way it was designed was with divorce women, what their journey in mind and what they’re going through at different stages. And like we said, there are these different stages so you can, depending on where you’re at in your process, you can choose what works for you at that time.
Audrey: 29:06 Totally.
Jennifer Giamo: 29:06 So it’d be different for everyone, which is cool.
Audrey: 29:09 I’m really excited and again, everybody can go to worthy.com/podcast. We’re going to have a nice big banner so you can get right on over at A Fresh Start Fitness and embrace your fresh start, but you Jen, you really are on the other side of this now and you are living that fresh start and so I have a few questions now. Mostly just like the wisdom that you have that you can share with our audience. So we have gotten a lot of messages from listeners asking us about how you can deal with your ex. Kind of moving on before you. We had a specific question about, there was infidelity in my marriage and my ex-husband is now with this woman and it feels so unfair. I’m struggling. What would you say to somebody who’s dealing with that?
Jennifer Giamo: 30:00 Yeah, that’s a hard one, believe in Karma, no I’m kidding, a little bit. I think it’s different for everybody. That’s a really personal thing. I didn’t find out that there was infidelity until after the fact. So I would say in my experience, yes, it’s unfair. Yes, it’s painful, but just take the high road always. I mean I had so many opportunities and so many different people approached me about, ” Oh, do you want to do this? And do you want to expose that and do you want to say.” No, I don’t, I don’t want to talk about it. I have no interest in trash talking him or her or whatever. So just not to be spiteful and really don’t spend your time thinking about them. They’re not thinking about you, they made this decision on their own and weren’t considering your feelings when they did it. So don’t invest any of your time in thinking about them.
Audrey: 30:59 Yeah. I have this article that you wrote actually for our friends at Thrive Global and you talked about how you get back to the light after your divorce, you find that brightness again. So I’m going to read a little bit about that and I think it’s like what you were saying. So this is from a piece called Finding The Light After Divorce. And you wrote, instead of viewing your future is unknown and scary. See it as a blank slate, a chance to rewrite your story. Reconnect with distant friends, foster an animal, volunteer your time journal, travel, love yourself.
Audrey: 31:31 Your self-confidence may have been damaged, but you will build it back up independent of the events in your life. You have experienced a trauma outside the realm of your imagination to inside your everyday existence. Of course, you will have self-doubt, but do not let this experience define you. You will come out of this on the other side, a changed person. That person can be anyone you want her to be. Shine your light. I just love this piece. I think that-
Jennifer Giamo: 32:01 Thank you.
Audrey: 32:01 I think that’s kind of the best way to do it. Acknowledge that something terrible has happened to you and it feels horrible, but it’s not the end and there’s another side and hopefully Fresh Start Fitness and Worthy can be part of what helps get you to that other side. But like you said, it’s every person is different and every situation is different.
Jennifer Giamo: 32:24 And for people to feel it, yeah, it’s okay to feel that way. Yeah, you’re going to feel hurt and you’re gonna feel that pain and that’s okay. I mean, that’s expected. I mean, the worst thing to do I think is to suppress all those feelings and then they come out in other, more destructive ways. So let it come out. I mean cried, whatever you need to do.
Audrey: 32:45 Yeah. And I think there’s maybe this fear that those feelings are going to be there forever.
Jennifer Giamo: 32:52 Yeah, definitely. Because it does feel like you’re sort of stuck in this. This is never going to change. I’m always going to feel this way and it’s all temporary, all of it. Everything, it doesn’t feel like that at all when you’re going through it and listen, it takes different amounts of time for different people too. I have friends that have gone through it recently and I can’t believe how far along they are. Whereas when I was going through it, I wasn’t anywhere near that stage at that point, so it just depends.
Audrey: 33:23 It’s so true. The grieving process is a real thing and I think there is something to be said, like some people start that grieving process before they get to divorce.
Jennifer Giamo: 33:34 Right.
Audrey: 33:34 It is just so different for different people because every relationship is different and every divorce is different and it’s so important to just not feel discouraged and to know that the pain that you’re feeling is temporary and you are so strong, stronger than you know, and that you’re gonna get get past this.
Jennifer Giamo: 33:52 Yeah.
Audrey: 33:53 So I have a couple questions left before we’re going to let you go. I want to know one way that you’ve embraced your fresh start since your.
Audrey: 34:00 … way that you’ve embraced your fresh start since your divorce that you think will inspire our listeners?
Jennifer: 34:08 I think that just in general, I stopped resisting things. I think when you stop resisting-
Audrey: 34:15 Yeah.
Jennifer: 34:15 … and you embrace, you’ll notice a shift in everything that you do.
Audrey: 34:20 Wow.
Jennifer: 34:20 I think I’ve sort of started to stop resisting, and just do what feels good, and do what I think is necessary for my own health and wellbeing. Yeah, I just-
Audrey: 34:32 I love that.
Jennifer: 34:34 … notice a shift in your attitude.
Audrey: 34:37 That’s good advice. That’s great. Then, every once in a while I like to end with a little bit of a silly question.
Jennifer: 34:44 Okay.
Audrey: 34:44 You, obviously, you are a trainer, and you have a master’s degree in nutrition, but I want to know what your favorite cheap food is.
Jennifer: 34:56 Oh my god. It’s chocolate chip cookie dough.
Audrey: 35:01 Yum.
Jennifer: 35:01 I’m embarrassed to say that I eat raw cookie dough, but I do.
Audrey: 35:05 Oh, that’s so embarrassing, no one can relate to that.
Jennifer: 35:10 Definitely my cheap food.
Audrey: 35:12 That’s great. Well, I know in the healthy eating guide, you talk about eating until you’re 80% full.
Jennifer: 35:21 Yeah. The cookie dough’s not in the healthy eating guide.
Audrey: 35:24 I was going to say. All right, well thank you so much for joining us. This has been great. I’m so excited for everybody to check out Fresh Start Fitness.
Jennifer: 35:33 Thank you.
Audrey: 35:33 Your story is so inspirational. You are just proof that life goes on and there is a bright future, and you can create-
Jennifer: 35:44 Better.
Audrey: 35:44 … a life better than you ever imagined.
Jennifer: 35:47 That’s right.
Audrey: 35:47 Thank you so much for joining us, and for sharing your story.
Jennifer: 35:51 Thank you.
Audrey: 35:51 Everyone will see you at Fresh Start Fitness.
Jennifer: 35:54 Okay, I look forward to it.
Audrey: 35:58 We hope you enjoy this meditation moment that is stage one of Fresh Start Fitness. When you’re done, go to worthy.com/podcast to enroll so that you can enjoy all five stages of this special new program.
Jennifer: 36:14 Welcome to the meditation session of Fresh Start Fitness to help you heal and thrive after divorce. Meditation’s been an important part of my divorce journey, because it allows me to step out of the chaos and quiet my mind. It gives you the space to be with your thoughts, recognize them, and just let them go. Meditation doesn’t mean stopping your thoughts, as you’ll see when we go through this 10-minute practice together, the benefits of meditation can just really help you to center yourself, quiet your mind, and just let go of everything. If you’re ready, let’s get started.
Jennifer: 36:52 Hi this is Jen, welcome to Fresh Start Fitness. This is your meditation portion of the program, which is your first step to healing and thriving after divorce. Today we are going to acknowledge any emotions that you might feeling, calm your mind, release any negative thoughts, and truly just let go. Divorce can be a roller-coaster of emotions as you know, and accepting that your life has gone off-course is the beginning of the healing process. I want you to take a moment right now, and find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down.
Jennifer: 37:29 Go ahead and close your eyes, take a big deep breath in through your nose, and exhale out your mouth. Do that a few more times, nice big deep breath in, filling up your belly, your chest, your lungs, and then exhale all of that air out. Good. Begin to relax your shoulders, your neck, and your head. If you’re holding onto any tension in your face, relax that right now, just let your mouth soften, your eyes sink deeper into your head. Every time you exhale, I want you to let go of any negative feelings that you might have right now. Breathing in, breathing out. Throughout this practice today, I want you to remember that you are enough. You are loved. You are unique. You’re special, and you deserve happiness. You are worthy.
Jennifer: 38:52 Just be present with me now, letting go of any outside distractions. Then if you feel any emotions coming up, just sit with them for a moment, and let them go. Stay present, believe in yourself and your power to heal your heart. By learning to breathe deeply as we’re doing today, you really can naturally calm the nervous system, lower the heart rate, and just settle into stillness. Anytime you have moments of anxiety or fear, just take that deep breath in, maybe hold it at the top for two counts, and release.
Jennifer: 39:55 We’re going to let go of any thoughts that don’t serve us. Let go of a past experience that no longer exists. Let go of judgment of ourselves and others, and let go of emotion that cause suffering. Whatever it is for you today, just think about what that is, and let it go. Is there something in your life that keeps you from moving forward because you’re holding on to a fear, or a negative belief? Take a deep breath in for a count of four, hold it at the top for two, and release on a count of six. Do that three times. Whatever those emotions are for you today, we are going to try to let it go together. When you start to think about that thing you’re holding on to, how does it make you feel? What emotions come up when you think about it? I want you to just feel those negative thoughts leaving your body with every exhale. By holding on to the past, we don’t allow ourselves to move forward, we’re just stuck, it’s like our brain is on a loop. We continue to get pulled back into whatever it is we ruminate over as we have to solve it, or get closure, and this prevents us from being fully in the present. Sometimes you can’t fix it, or change it, and so today, we are moving forward.
Jennifer: 41:48 We’re going to breathe in right here and silently say, “Let,” breath out, silently saying, “Go.” I want you to do that three times. Breathing in, “Let,” breathing out, “Go.” I’m not suggesting that by letting go you’re in some way dismissing or not acknowledging your pain. I don’t want you to push away your feelings, I want you honor them. Let them sit with you for a while before you transcend them. It hurts to let go, but sometimes it’s more painful to hold on. Breathing in, breathing out, choosing forward over stuck, making peace a priority in your life, where negativity cannot exist. Breathing in now I want you to say to yourself, “I am enough.” Breathing in, “I am enough,” repeating that three times. On your next breath, inhaling, “I am special. I deserve happiness. I am special, and I deserve happiness,” repeating that three times. Feel yourself grounded into the earth. Feel your roots so strong that nothing can take you down. You are so powerful. You’re determined. You are enough. Breathe in with those positive affirmations, and let them fill your heart, and your mind, and your spirit. Let them replace all other thoughts right now. Grounding yourself as you breathe in, exhale any negative thoughts, rooting into the earth. Deep breath in for a count of four, holding at the top for two, and exhaling on a count of six. When you feel yourself getting to this place of restlessness in your daily life, come back to your breath, or come back to this meditation, and just regain your sense of serenity. Recognize that it’s okay to have these feelings, but don’t let yourself live there. You are in control of your own thoughts, make them positive, and life affirming. Remember that you’re strong, and that you will get through this. Embrace that change that you get to experience now, explore new things.
Jennifer: 45:56 Breathing in, holding for two, breathing out, on a count of six. I want you to smile, and be proud of yourself for how far you’ve already come. Be present, and be grateful for what you have. Be thankful that you’re loved, remember that you’re special, you are strong, and you are worthy. There’s a new life ahead just waiting for you to enjoy it, so embrace that change. Breathing in, holding for two, exhaling for six. Just know that right now, you are exactly where you are meant to be. Namaste.
Audrey: 47:25 Thanks again to Jennifer Giamo for joining us, and to all of you for listening. We know you guys like to talk about love and dating after divorce as much as we do. Next week we are going to celebrate how you have grown through your breakups and are more in touch with what you need from a partner than ever before. We’re going to be chatting with the one and only divorcierge, Ms. Karen Bigman. Karen has the best tips on how to get back out into a world that is probably very different than the one you dated in before your marriage. Make sure you subscribe so you can catch every new episode of Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle in your feed weekly.
Audrey: 48:06 If you like what you hear, rate and review us to help other women like you find us. Thanks for listening to Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle, a branded podcast from Worthy dedicated to celebrating women like you, as you embrace a new beginning after divorce, separation, or whatever. Worthy is an online auction platform designed to help you sell valuable items like an engagement ring, or a wedding set. When you decide to send your ring in, we pay for the shipping and insurance to ensure that it arrives safely to our New York office. Once we’ve received the ring, we have it professional graded and photographed, which helps it sell competitively in our buyer network.
Audrey: 48:44 One of the best parts of working with Worthy is that you get to set the minimum on your item. After the grading, our gemologists will give you a recommended selling minimum, but at the end of the day, you get to decide how much you want to sell the ring for. If the highest bid comes in below that threshold, and you decide not to accept it, we’ll send you your ring back, and we’ll even cover the costs of the insured shipping again. Let us help you get the best deal possible for the jewelry you’ve outgrown.
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Divorce is the end of one chapter, but it’s also an opportunity to create the life you always dreamed of. You are the author of the story of your life, get some inspiration from “Divorce & Other Things You Can Handle!” The divorce podcast that will keep you thriving as you embrace your fresh start!
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