Dating after divorce: It’s a hot topic and something that most of us experience eventually. In this episode of Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle, New York Times best-selling author and blogger Mandy Hale offers reasons why it’s often important to take a break from dating.
Mandy came to this realization after an intense breakup. Emotionally, she felt like she’d lost everything. She wondered why she felt the urge to continue dating when she still had so much to process and over time, she realized that many others feel that they need to keep on dating even though they might not be emotionally prepared.
We long for companionship and love. When serious relationships and marriages come to an end and we find ourselves newly single, it might seem strange to choose solitude for a while. But taking time to unpack our emotions, learn more about ourselves, and determine what we truly need in a partner – as well as what we ourselves bring into relationships – are vital steps to creating successful partnerships in the future.
In This Episode
Mandy and Jennifer discuss some of the most common thoughts and emotions that come with dating, particularly after a divorce or painful breakup. During a candid, heartfelt conversation between the two, Mandy touches on some of the most important reasons why anyone might want to take a hiatus from dating, plus the two dig deep into the process and value of emotional purging. Some highlights:
How life experience leads to lessons that may be painful, but that deserve our attention. Taking a hiatus from dating provides time to unpack our emotions and our reasoning, and to get back in touch with who we really are.
It can be easy to find ourselves on dating roller coasters, moving from one relationship to the next. A dating hiatus helps us understand our reasons for dating.
The importance of dating intentionally rather than looking for a way to avoid being alone. When we take a break from dating, we give ourselves time to get back in touch with ourselves, focus on things that matter to us, and return to the dating scene when we’re ready, with fresh perspective.
New relationships are often “bandages” that cover wounds caused by old relationships. Entering new relationships without first healing from those old wounds sets us up for even more emotional pain in the future. Taking a break from dating helps us uncover unhealthy patterns and discover what truly makes us feel alive.
Taking a dating hiatus gives us the opportunity to determine why we’re choosing the partners we do. Are we terrified to be alone, or are we selecting our partners because we truly want to be with them. Do we have the “it’s better to be dating anyone rather than to be alone” mentality?
Confronting emotions and issues that emerge following the ending of a relationship is a vital part of finding empowerment and eliminating our own toxicity. Without emotional purging, we often find ourselves building new relationships on the same toxic foundations that contributed to past pain. Hitting the “pause” button can help prevent bad decisions in the future so that history doesn’t repeat itself.
Important self-care tips for healing, transforming, and gaining insight while taking a break from dating. Emotional purging helps us break free from old memories that control us while helping us to reclaim our lives.
How deleting old text streams, releasing mementos, or even simply removing certain reminders from our sight are important aspects of emotional purging. When we finally purge our lives of old memories that keep those wounds from healing, we naturally open ourselves to new love and experiences. We don’t realize the actual weight of our emotional burdens until we set them down.
About Mandy Hale
Mandy Hale is the creator of The Single Woman social media movement and is a New York Times best-selling author of four books. Thanks to her empowering messages, Mandy is credited with revolutionizing what it means to be a single woman in today’s world. Her messages reach millions of women worldwide each day, ultimately changing lives for the better. You can connect with Mandy on: