Today we are back with Carey Davidson for the third episode in our four-part series discussing how you can use your archetype and how it acts in a relationship to avoid ending up in the same negative relationships.
The fire archetype is all about fun and playfulness, however, this means they can sometimes only want to be in a relationship when it’s fun. They crave attention and constantly need excitement, but don’t necessarily see the value in exploring deeper meaning and can easily burn out in a relationship. Their biggest relationship fear is losing the love and attention that they need so badly and can come across as too flirty towards people who are not their partners.
Challengers: Water and Metal
People with the earth archetype love harmony, relationships, and togetherness. As a result, they will avoid conflict and over-please their partners in an attempt to smooth things over. An earth type tends to fear abandonment and will hold on for too long, trying to talk things out until it is overbearing and suffocating for their partner. They are addicted to being in relationships and become so stuck on taking care of their partner that they stop caring for themselves, and when things fail, an earth type will blame themselves, wondering what they did wrong.
Challengers: Water and Wood
Metal archetypes value rhythm and consistency which can equate to them getting stuck in the past and having a difficult time moving forward after a conflict. They heavily focus on the rules and can be addicted to being right, resulting in them being over critical and losing sight of the bigger picture when stressed. These qualities stop their relationships from moving forward and growing.
Challengers: Wood and Fire
People with a water archetype are characterized by valuing deep meaning and immersion. When faced with a conflict, they tend to go into their heads and think about it, rather than seeing the benefit of talking about it with a partner. Their biggest fear is being misunderstood and they are addicted to thinking, which can come across as indifference or snobbiness to others. In reality, they fear the future and can get so stuck in their minds that they over-isolate.
Challengers: Earth and Fire
Wood archetypes are adventurous and love to explore and make decisions. Their biggest fear is confinement, and when stressed, they can be pushy and argumentative, wanting to plow through the conflict and have it be over with them being the winner. They tend to like long-distance relationships due to their control over how much communication and facetime they can have with their partner, allowing them to have as much space as they need.
Challengers: Earth and Metal
Conflict comes up when we are not having our needs met, thereby causing reactive stress states where we are not our best selves. In times like these, it is important to recognize yourself and utilize self-care and regulation to meet your needs.
Any combination of people can be in a healthy relationship. In fact, our challenger types help us to grow as individuals. It is critical for both partners to be in a healthy place where they want to grow and make the relationship work.
Be empathetic, but recognize that the only person you can control is YOU.
Tournesol founder, Carey Rosen Davidson, has more than 25 years of experience leading altruistic and educational initiatives to build successful, collaborative, creative solutions that enhance the lives of stakeholders. Her mission with Tournesol is to meet the overwhelming increase in demand for better and more comprehensive integrative healthcare with a new, sustainable, temperament driven model for individual and organizational health.