By Audrey Cade
None could dispute that mothers are simply amazing! Moms bring forth life, nurture, teach, forgive, and stand by our sides through both the dark and happy moments in life. Moms deserve our utmost appreciation for the countless sacrifices they make to help us develop into the people we are today!
Moms constitute the membership of the world’s largest sorority of women who transform more lives and do more good for mankind than any other group of people. Members of this magnificent sisterhood join the ranks in a variety of ways and go about the business of mothering in a number of different guises.
A mother’s marital status, amount of money in the bank, formal education, and even biological connection to the children she cares for are not prerequisite to the ability to perform well as a mother. In fact, all that a woman must possess to act as a mother or mother figure is the desire, love, and dedication to fill the role!
Each type of mother has her own set of unique challenges, either in how she came to be a mother or in the task of mothering, itself. Motherhood, by nature, is a complex and emotional process that can’t fully compare to any other. The institution of motherhood requires tireless effort, worry, patience, humor, and the capacity to love eternally.
They are sometimes assumed to have it the “easiest” because they have a partner to help bear the load of managing their home and childrearing responsibilities; however, nothing can be assumed about her life other than the fact that she is a loving and devoted mother to her children!
Adoptive moms may come to be so after years of heartache and longing to be a mother, or the beautiful desire to open their homes and hearts to another woman’s child. She may battle through immense obstacles of red tape and time to finally achieve her dream of motherhood. Then, she helps to mend the wounded hearts of children who may mourn never knowing their biological family, and endures the ignorance of others who refuse to see her as their “real” mom.
They often take the brunt of criticism from society –even other moms– because of their unmarried status. She is scrutinized through stereotypical views about her speculated sexual habits, dependence on public assistance, and other unfounded ideas about the environment of her home, her employment status, and more. She does it all with often limited support from others, rarely getting a break.
A mother’s marital status is not prerequisite to the ability to perform well as a mother.
Step moms join a child’s parenting team following the divorce of the child’s parents or death of their mother. Hers is a precarious position, balanced on the past and the present. She is often viewed as an outsider, though she may fulfill all the duties of a mother, while they are in her care. Her role is often to support her spouse and be there, to whatever degree allowed, by her stepkids. She lives with constant reminders that she’s “not mom” and may take the blame for the heartache her step kids have about the end of their parent’s relationship.
Every mother has a story, a joy, and a heartache.
When all is said and done, we are all simply mothers; though, there is nothing simple about being a mom!
No mom should be discounted for any factors in her life including how she came to be a mother or the manner in which she shares her life with her kids! Stereotypes, hasty conclusions, or assumptions result in nothing but adding more stress to an already stressful role, and unravel the ties which bind us all together in motherhood. We could be one another’s greatest strength, but are often caught up in petty attacks on one another.
Instead of judgment, we should try offering support and encouragement to one another. The core of who we are is the same: we live every moment to provide love and care to the next generation. We are strong when others can’t be. We love in the face of all odds. We bask in the glow of life’s most beautiful moments in the purest love from a special child.
Instead of judgment, we should try offering support and encouragement to one another.
That’s all it takes to be a “real” mom, and one amazing example of womanhood!
Will you join me in recognizing the contributions of all moms and accept all forms of motherhood as equals?
A single mom is just as valuable as a married mom! A married mom works just as hard as her counterparts! An adoptive mom and a step mom are no less mothers because they did not birth the children they care for! The challenges and disadvantages each mom faces makes her no more or less important than other mothers. We are all the same, though in our own unique ways. We are all deserving of respect, appreciation, and full membership to the community of mothers!
We all struggle, we all triumph, and we’re all amazing!
About the Author
Audrey Cade is the author of “Divorce Matters: help for hurting hearts and why divorce is sometimes the best decision” (on Amazon) and the matriarch of a blended family of eight. She is an experienced “divorce warrior” in the areas of co-parenting, step parenting, parental alienation, and re-marriage, and enjoys sharing these experiences with others who are also committed to raising happy and healthy kids. Audrey’s professional experience is as a case manager social worker with the developmentally disabled, families with young children, and homeless populations. She holds degrees in Early Childhood Education, Human Service & Management, and a Master’s in Psychology. She enjoys family outings, a variety of arts and crafts, cooking, gardening, and writing. She is a featured blogger for Divorced Moms, has work regularly appearing on Divorce Force, and articles appearing in Step Mom Magazine, The Good Men Project, and others.