By Laura Lifshitz
Motherhood is a wonderful privilege but sometimes, it’s also a gritty and thankless job. No one tells you that when you’re pregnant and expecting though. If you did tell an expectant mom that bit of truth, you’d be acting like a party pooper, or a ball buster… and that’s not a good way to be around a hormonal pregnant lady. Unless you feel like getting your eyes stabbed with a fork… a fork dripping with chocolate cake or some other pregnancy craving.
The truth is if parenting were easy, we’d all have fifty million children. We’d all be little reproductive machines, but parenting isn’t a walk in the park. Motherhood is beautiful and also a hot mess. But that’s okay because it’s still really worth it.
Yes—even when your child draws on your walls, pukes on you, or slams the door in your face in some teenage rage—it’s still worth it.
1. Get Paid in Puke & Boogers… With No Awards
Here’s a dose of reality for you: you’ll never receive “The Best Mom of the Year” Award because there are no awards ceremonies for moms. At least not official ones.
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And even if you really are a super badass mom, which you are, you may never get one little tiny dose of acknowledgement. Sure, your kids will most likely grow up to realize that “Wow, my mom did so much for me and I didn’t even realize it until just now,” but your kids may never have that moment. They may never realize all you did for them.
Yup, sucks to be you.
But here’s the good news…(drum roll, please)
Even though you’re more apt to paid in puke, eye rolls, messy rooms, dirty bathrooms and boogers than you are awards, flowers and spa days, you still did a damn good job with your kids.
Your kids, in all of their infinite glory and quirks, make your life so much (louder) better than it was before.
It’s still worth (just about) every eye roll and slammed door. It’s still worth every blowout diaper.
Motherhood is a joy that some women never get to have, but really want. Knowing that—knowing how hard so many of you may even have fought to get pregnant… remind yourself that even when it is a rotten and awful day and you’ve considered sending your kid to a military boot camp or sweatshop, the love you get back each day… even if it’s just a sweet smile (or a condescending adolescent smile), is worth it.
2. Eating Cold Meals, Worrying to Death & Second-Guessing Yourself
Welcome to Motherhood! The land where uncertainty, fear and cold dinner awaits you. Pull up a seat and you can prepare to pay lots of money to buy your kids clothing and fun stuff first, while you rock jeans from the eighties. Gulp.
Pull up a seat and you can fret and agonize over the smallest decision, pick the best choice and then have your kid tell you for the rest of your life how you shouldn’t have done that. Motherhood: the dream destination where your kids tell you how much they hate the name you gave them.
Yes, that’s the real deal “reality show” of motherhood. The worst moments.
But… you also get the absolute best moments, too. We see and experience those “firsts” our little kids have. We’re there for those first experiences and major milestones. We hear our kiddos’ and teens’ thoughts and dreams.
We get the extra hugs and kisses, because so many children just instinctively know and trust that “Mommy” will be there (because we will be!). Let’s face it: having someone that trusts and loves you so much like that is so powerful. There is nothing else in the world quite like that. There is nothing like the love of your child, simply put.
3. Do It All “Correctly” & Your Kids May Never Thank You or Agree It Was Right
Sometimes kids grow up and don’t agree that you made the right choices for them, even if you believe and know in your heart that you did. Even though they know you’re a good mom and they love you.
Or, sometimes, kids may never really thank you for all you did for them, even though they love you to bits and think you’re fantastic.
You won’t always get the round of applause or the “Thanks, Mom” you want and quite possibly, really really deserve.
But that’s not why you became a mom. You became a mom to have a lifelong connection with a human being that you cherish forever. To help assist another human on his or her journey to finding out whom he or she really is. You became a mom to coach and cheer on your children who eventually, grow up and have homes of their own… because that’s what you want.
You want your children to take off into space and become beautiful stars in the sky of their very own. Their very own unique people.
It’s not about the thanks or the accolades. It’s about the journey together. The love.
4. F*ck Up & Make the Wrong Decisions (Even When You Try Not To) It’s Still Okay!
Motherhood is the game in which you learn “trial by fire.”
No one gives you the Motherhood for Dummies manual. There is no website or downloadable app to correctly parent your child.
So basically, you’re guaranteed to mess up more than once and more than twice. Okay… so let’s not count the amount of mistakes you’re most likely to make.
Just know that you’re going to make them and you’re going to screw up even when you try really hard not to. Even when you try so, so, so hard not to.
You’ll mess up.
The great news? There will be so many times you do the absolute right thing. There will be so many times you score an A+!
That is why motherhood is so worth it, even when you are the worst mom on the planet. Even when you eat dinner so cold, it’s got icicles on top.
Because your kids in all of their infinite glory and quirks, make your life so much (louder) better than it was before.
Laura Lifshitz is a Freelance Writer, Content Creator, Comedienne, & Obsessive Chocoholic.