By Desirae Harper
Looking back at my last relationship, there were several signs that I needed to hit the “Boy, bye!” button long before I did. I knew that there were issues in our relationship that needed to be worked on. But if I had known what I know now about relationships, that thang was doomed! No relationship is perfect but some relationships are just downright toxic. It’s the toxic sort that you need to pack up and run away from…like girl, run and NEVER look back!
1. Every argument ends in a breakup
Every couple is going to argue because no two people share the same views about every issue so please don’t chuck the deuce every time you don’t agree with your man. HEALTHY arguments and debating are normal. With that being said, if every disagreement you have is an all-out war and it ends in a breakup, that mess is NOT normal. Girl, you can do better.
If every disagreement you have is an all-out war and it ends in a breakup, that mess is NOT normal.
2. The trust is broken
Beyonce forgave Jay-Z but after those two whole albums aired out their dirty laundry you just know a ton of work went into that trust being repaired. People make mistakes and trust can be repaired but it requires WORK from both parties. If your man cheats on you or breaks your trust in any way but doesn’t seem interested in doing the actual work to make things right again, hit him with those walking papers. A relationship will not last where trust does not live.
3. You’ve lost your fight
Being in love with someone makes you passionate about them. You’ll fight with them for them! You’ll motivate them to be better because you care. You’ll talk real to them because you want to see them be great. When your relationship is in trouble, you’ll dig in and fight for that love. But when you’ve been through so much with him that you don’t even care to fight anymore..staying is a waste of your time.
4. Your self-esteem is trash
Being in a relationship will definitely help you change and grow if it’s a healthy one. However, if it’s a toxic ship, you’ll find yourself doubting yourself and feeling like you aren’t good enough. Relationships are supposed to uplift you and make you better. So if being with your man isn’t like that, why is he your man again?
5. Problems are never talked about or solved
Nobody likes talking about the heavy stuff. But if you ever want to get through it and heal from it, you have to put your big girl panties on and deal! I’ve heard that in order to overcome a thing, you first have to face it. If your man refuses to talk about the issues that exist in your relationship, your relationship soon won’t exist.
Relationships are supposed to uplift you and make you better. So if being with your man isn’t like that, why is he your man again?
6. The majority of serious discussions/fights happen via text
To be clear, texting back and forth about your issues does not count as a valid discussion about your relationship. You can’t see intentions behind text messages. Face to face, soul to soul discussions are the only way to hash out serious issues. If you can’t actually talk about your problems with your mate…girl, it’s a wrap! Wrap it up!
About the Author
Desirae Harper is a blogger from Southern California who focuses on topics that range from her life as a single mom to celebrity gossip to her own personal fitness journey. Read her blog Fierce and Flawless Life and connect with her on Facebook or Instagram.