By Stacey Freeman
Picture this: It’s February 13, and you’re running an errand at your local grocery store. You enter the building and boom! All you see is red. You look to your left and see a wall of heart-shaped boxes filled to the brim with heart-shaped chocolates. You look to your right and see red stuffed bunnies and bears with hearts for eyes. You look straight ahead and see a ginormous red banner reading, “Valentine’s Day is almost here! Get something special for your someone special.” Those with special someones rejoice, stuffing their shopping carts with gifts. As for everybody else? They sigh, wishing they, too, had someone special to celebrate the holiday of love with.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Sure, Valentine’s Day celebrates love, but who said that romantic love is the only type of love? Even if you don’t have a significant other, your life is full of love. You love your family, you love your job (hopefully), you love your pets, and you love your friends. That’s certainly worth celebrating, isn’t it? When you visit your local grocery store, consider buying a bouquet of flowers for your parents, stacks of heart-shaped candies for your children, and a box of chocolates for your coworkers and friends.
Sure, Valentine’s Day celebrates love, but who said that romantic love is the only type of love?
Still, you may feel like something—or someone—is missing. When you’re sharing a bowl of chips with your friends, you imagine sharing a lobster with the man of your dreams. When you’re watching a movie with your children, you imagine resting your head on someone’s shoulder. When you’re going to bed alone, you imagine the person you love sleeping right by your side. You know it’s perfectly fine to be single (if you hear it one more time, you’ll scream) but deep down you don’t feel fine.
It’s difficult to be single on Valentine’s Day without self-confidence. However, you cannot feel confident until you understand in your heart, not only your mind, that being single on Valentine’s Day is not the end of the world. It’s just not. February 15 will come after February 14, even if you don’t have someone to celebrate with. You need to understand that being single is temporary, not permanent. The right person for you is out there; you just haven’t found him yet. Don’t let yourself feel sad.
Instead of loathing yourself for being single, try celebrating yourself for being successful. You’ve had a tough year yet have achieved a lot. Think about those achievements. They make you feel better about yourself, right? Congratulate yourself for them. Let Valentine’s Day be your day of celebration. Go shopping, read a book, or cook a nice dinner. Do whatever makes you happy or whatever you don’t have time for on any other day of the year. Use your time to reflect, think, and learn. You might even learn to love yourself. After all, this is the holiday of love.
Instead of loathing yourself for being single, try celebrating yourself for being successful.
The reality is you don’t need to get all dressed up and go on a fancy date to properly celebrate Valentine’s Day, nor do you need a man to be by your side. What you do need is pride. Having a date on Valentine’s Day doesn’t determine your value. Time alone will give you the perspective you need to realize this. Unfortunately, shame can get in the way, which is the perfect incentive to leave your ego in January and be your own Valentine. As soon as you stop worrying about what others may think, you’ll quickly recognize that being alone on Valentine’s Day isn’t the negative you once believed.
Now when you enter your local grocery store, confident in yourself, you won’t sigh when you see the endless displays of Valentine’s Day gifts. You’ll smile, hold your head up high, and continue walking, knowing the love of your life may be just around the aisle.
About the author
Stacey Freeman is a writer and blogger from the New York City area, a divorced single mom, lifestyle editor at Worthy.com, and the founder and managing director of Write On Track, LLC, a full-service consultancy dedicated to providing high-quality content to individuals and businesses. A respected voice for divorce issues affecting both women and men, Stacey has been published in The Washington Post, Entrepreneur, Good Housekeeping, Cosmopolitan, Woman’s Day, Town & Country, The Huffington Post, xoJane, Scary Mommy, The Stir, MariaShriver.com, The Good Men Project, and various well-known platforms worldwide. Stacey is frequently called upon for her expertise and insights on the divorce experience and has repeatedly been quoted in The Huffington Post’s divorce vertical. Stacey holds her B.A. in English, summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, from the University at Albany and her J.D. from Boston University School of Law. Email Stacey today at Stacey.Freeman@WriteOnTrackLLC.com or call 800-203-1946 for a free consultation and proposal. For more information, visit www.WriteOnTrackLLC.com.