5 Signs that You’re in a Post-Divorce Rebound Relationship

post-divorce rebound relationship
Stacey Freeman

By Stacey Freeman | Aug 27th, 2019

Like any other bad breakup, after going through a divorce, you may feel sick of mourning for your lost relationship and starved for the emotional and physical embrace of another person. Nothing will make the pain of your divorce go away like sinking your teeth into a new relationship. The rebound period is an indeterminate amount of time it takes for people to get back on their feet after a major breakup or divorce.

Rebounding may not seem like a problem at first glance, but what may happen is that you bite off more than you can chew. You prolong the grief of your last breakup or divorce by busying yourself with someone else. The behavior is detrimental for your mental health, as your deep-seated emotional issues manifest in other aspects of your life and prevent you from feeling truly happy. Below are five signs that the relationship you are currently in is a post-divorce rebound relationship.

1. You just broke up with your ex, yet you are entering a brand new relationship.

This sign conjures up the image of a classic rebound relationship. To hide from the heartbreak caused by the collapse of your marriage, you immediately invest yourself in a new relationship without giving yourself the proper amount of time to digest your divorce. Emotionally you are not ready to be in a new relationship and are just distracting yourself with something shiny and new. If that is the nature of your bond, you are definitely in rebound mode.

2. You always compare your new boyfriend to your ex-husband.

I’m not talking about how every once in awhile your mind wanders to the way your ex treated you compared to how your boyfriend treats you. We inherently look for patterns in life and nature. Therefore, it is plausible and acceptable we will look for patterns within our relationships as well. 

What I’m talking about is the constant ringing in the back of your mind. You might be with your new boyfriend, but find yourself thinking, “Oh, my ex didn’t do that,” or, “Wow, my new boyfriend is so much better than my ex.” If all roads lead back to your ex, then it is reasonable to conclude that your ex is the focal point of your mind, meaning you are not yet over him.

3. Your current relationship isn’t cut out for the long haul.

You may have just gotten out of one relationship and entered another, and you are having a hell of a time. But deep down, you know that you and your new boyfriend are not an endgame. You enjoy the company of another person, but long story short, you aren’t looking for anything serious. The mentality of needing to be in a relationship at all times is symptomatic of co-dependence; you enter into relationships because you are afraid of being alone. You stay in relationships with no future because wasting your time with someone who isn’t a fit is still preferable to the single life. If that is why you are rebounding, it might be time for you to consider getting to know yourself outside of who you’re dating.

4. You are trying to make your ex jealous.

If you are entering into a new relationship to make your ex jealous, you are likely rebounding and still hung up on your ex. Your relationships, old and new, are unhealthy because you are willing to use real people with real emotions as pawns in your games. This type of rebounding will magnify the devastation of your breakup, and will only create more heartbreak for you, your ex, and your new boyfriend.

5. You are on-again, off-again.

After your latest breakup, you get back together because you would rather be in a bad relationship than no relationship at all. This pattern only lengthens the rebounding period because each time your relationship ends, the clock resets, and you experience the grief of your relationship ending all over again. Ask yourself why, while keeping mind that a healthy relationship shouldn’t just be there for you when you fall. It should be constant in your life to support you, so you don’t. 

Stacey Freeman

Stacey Freeman


Stacey Freeman is a New York City-based writer, lifestyle editor at Worthy.com, and the founder and managing director of Write On Track.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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